Surviving The Festive Season When You’re Single And Fat

December 22, 2016 By sammy Leave a Comment

Christmas is one of those times that can turn up the volume of our emotions. That’s great if we’re feeling happy, excited and loved up, but not so great if we are single and feeling a bit blurgh about life changes or ourselves in general.

I’m not saying every single fat person dreads Christmas – far from it (I adore Christmas but certainly have my moments where its tough to be single, I’m not so worried about being overweight and have the tools to deal with any shaming).

Maintaining a body positive life takes work. Being happy takes work. You are in charge of how you feel and react. It’s your life and none of anyones business how you choose to live it.

Whether it’s meeting up with old friends who are now in relationships, or negotiating nosy family members who ask, ‘Haven’t found anyone yet then?’or offer lectures on what products has the least amount of sugar that I can consume (eyeroll), being single and overweight during the festive season can feel more like a fight for survival and judgement day than a joyful time.

But, rather than crawling in a hole and missing out on all the fun, here are a few tips for tackling December with confidence.

Us single fat babes really need to do is laugh at it all and try to keep a fresh perspective.

Look on the bright side
There are actually lots of bonuses to being single at Christmas – no agonising over presents for your partner, no stress over whose house to eat Christmas dinner at, being able to go to any party you want…the list goes on.
Also remember that there is life after Christmas – after all, it is just a week and it’ll soon be January.

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Rude comments made towards you have more to do with the person’s internalized fat-phobia than any hurtful intent.
We’ve all been taught to varying degrees and at different stages in our lives to talk and think negatively about our bodies and view fatness and being single as something that is undesirable.

When family members say things like, “Your Auntie Jean lost 30kgs with weight watchers you should give it a go,” or, “That top isn’t the most flattering thing on you,” oftentimes they’re not trying to cause your pain.

When someone says anything that has a body shaming flavor to it, I try to stop and remember where it’s coming from. I know that a lot of what they say comes from their own deeply rooted body negativity. My sympathy for my their own struggle with self love often outweighs some of the things she says to me, since I am in a point of my life where I’m relatively at peace with my body.

Pick your battles
Some comments (and members of your family) are simply not worth your time. If you have a senile grandparent or uncle who you never have to see any other day of the year but Christmas Eve and who loves asking you, “Do you really think you should be eating a second serve?” or, “It’s such a shame you haven’t met anyone yet, you’d be a great Mum,” it’s easier to just disengage and try to ignore the statements entirely.

I know from experience that trying to correct certain people in my family is more traumatizing than the fat shaming itself. Not everybody is open to understanding body positivity or making the effort to respect your own journey and beliefs. They don’t know me well enough to know that I’m considering paying $7,000 to have my eggs harvested and frozen due to reproductive issues. Or that I’ve dated someone this year who ended up secretly having children already and didn’t think to tell me!

It’s massively frustrating, but sometimes there’s simply nothing to be said.

Take the chance to educate people or let them know what they’ve said is hurtful
However, if you feel safe enough, you should explain what the body positivity movement is all about or why you are happy being single, as well as what it means to you on a personal level.
There’s a good chance that whoever you discuss this with — especially after a comment is made — can greatly benefit from a little body positivity in their lives. Even if they seem opposed to the ideas you’re putting forth, whatever does resonate with them might incite a shift in how they feel about themselves and talk to others.

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Lean on your support network
One year I had a family member pull a plate of biscuits away from me in front of everyone and told me that I’d had enough. Everyone saw. It was awkward. I left the room discretly and cried. Called one of my body positive friends who made me feel a million times better.

Bowing out of the room when you feel particularly overwhelmed is healthy, and throwing yourself into body pos activities can make a substantial difference in how you’re feeling. Reaching out to your support system, reading through your favorite size acceptance blogs, or giving yourself some compliments in the mirror can help support and strengthen your body pos foundation, preparing you for the rest of your visit or interaction.

Come up with a few good comebacks
If there’s one thing to guarantee you regressing to being a sulky child, it’s a nosy relative inquiring about your love life or weight.

Yes it’s petty, but the fact is that when your smug distant cousin and his new wife are bearing down on you at a family gathering you’ll do well to have some stock answers to their potentially prying questions. This can range from the genuine (I just haven’t found the right person yet) to the flippant (I’m actually seeing quite a few people, one for each day of the week and I have a very busy and active sex life. Oh and hows yours?) – whatever you’re comfortable with, just be prepared.

I also like to tell people that I’m practising making babies. Which I find rather hilarious. You can use that line if you want. You’re welcome!

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Don’t wallow
This is the cardinal rule for surviving Christmas single – and in fact, the whole year round. If you wallow in your feelings of misery, you’ll enter into a downward spiral. Misery breeds misery, and it pushes people away. How often have you walked into a party and thought, ‘ooh, I’ll talk to that miserable person over there’? We’re guessing never.

You’re single. Your fat. NO BIG DEAL. It’s seriously NO ONES BUSINESS and you do NOT NEED TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF

We know that it’s often easier said than done to banish those feelings of sadness – especially if you find yourself remembering last Christmas when things were better for you – but do try. As soon as you feel your mind wandering, distract yourself. Volunteer to do some cooking, call up a friend: just get your mind off that subject.

The fact is that people are paying far less attention to you than you think they are. Simply try to enjoy the company of friends and family you don’t often see; after all, what’s funnier than Aunt Margaret after a few too many ports?

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Maintaining a body positive life takes work. Being happy takes work. You are in charge of how you feel and react. It’s your life and none of anyones business how you choose to live it.

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Behind The Scenes: Melbourne Fashion Week Plus

October 20, 2016 By sammy Leave a Comment

Jessica West, Caitlyn Byrne, Karyn Cloonan. Well done team! I love this photo of the event organisers. Captures exactly what the event was about, fashion and laughter

Going backstage at any fashion show can be more exciting than watching the runway shows and presentations. In September I hung out behind the scenes at Melbourne Fashion Week Plus and witnessed first-hand how many people, hours, and stores of energy it takes to pull together a fashion event.

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I was lucky enough to be apart of the media team representing Skorch Magazine and also a model over the four days

As you can imagine, A ton of primping goes into the looks that grace the runway shows, which can last as little as ten minutes.

From the models, the designers, the venue planning the makeup to the music and event, putting together the Melbourne Fashion Week Plus requires incredible coordination. Well done to the organisers for putting together such a fabulous event.

Media night was a huge success. So empowering to be in a room filled with models, designers, bloggers and media all supporting the plus industry.

The models were a mixture of professional models and “street” models – bloggers and everyday people that wanted to take part in the show, which was great as it gave the show much diversity and excitement as some of the girls were walking for the first time ever.

The opening night runway, featuring designers: State of Liberty, Voluptua, Courtney ZOH, Nyata & Estelle Clothing.

The second runway was full of elegance and flowing fabrics. Featuring designers: Chocolat, Alison Dominy Designs, Diane Covino, Lyn-Al, Coral and Co Australia

LYN – AL was a stand out designer in the show. Her designs are based on Fasheaming, meaning fashion dreaming. Dreaming for Aboriginal people is a very spiritual thing. Lyn-Al’s pieces connect with the spirit behind the designs. Each piece was handpainted onto silk making each piece a unique artistic original.

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The Hope&Harvest models and designers straight off the runway

Runway Three brought us the cutting edge of plus size fashion. Featuring designers: 17 Sundays, Remi Ray, Black Mob The Label, th.label, Hope&Harvest & Embody Denim

It takes an army of HUMA behind the scenes to bring the vision to life. This is only a small portion of the Iridis Cosmetics team! (who did a phenomenal job and were sponsors of the event)

Had to giggle at this fabulous Joolz Fashion shirt

The final runway was full of tailoring, colour and fun. Featured designers: Sprinkle Emporium, Juicy Lucy Plus, Joolz Fashion, Miss Scarlett did it, SONSEE Woman, Active Truth, Beyond the Sea Swimwear

Beyond the Sea Swimwear models about to go on stage

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There’s a fair bit of down time between getting ready for the show. Nothing like heading out for lunch all glammed up

Active Truth designers

How to make homemade dumplings {Gyoza}

May 18, 2016 By sammy Leave a Comment

It’s been a while since I’ve done a food post. Just one of those things that are on the to-do list that I think of frequently.

Anyway guys I made a video! Fancy hey? {I did film it A WHOLE YEAR ago, thats how long its been on the list} Worst blogger ever, I know.

This demonstrates just how much I love gyoza. Or dumplings. Same same.

I’m constantly making them for friends and teaching them how to make them. So from now on, if anyone asks me how I make them I’ll be texting them a link to this post. They are fresh, light and SUPER easy to make.

Here’s the video {warning to turn sound down a little bit}

Ingredients
– 400grams pork or chicken mince
– 2 garlic cloves peeled and cut finely
– 3cm piece of fresh ginger, grated
– 2 spring onions, white part cut finely
– Small bunch of coriander
– Gow gee wrappers
– 1 red chilli (optional and I forgot to add this in the video)
– 1 teaspoon sesame oil
– 1 tablespoon of soy sauce

Method
Step 1: After everything is chopped as described in the ingredients list, combine all the ingredients together in a bowl.
Step 2: Lay out gow gee wrappers onto baking paper. This helps them not stick to your bench.
Step 3: Place a teaspoon sized amount into the middle of each wrapper and seal by adding a little bit of water to the edge. Follow the video to see how to fold them. They don’t have to be perfect but they do need to be sealed tightly so the mixute doesn’t fall out when they cook.
Step 4: Heat a pan on medium to high, place another teaspoon of sesame oil into the pan and have a lid handy. Cook on one side until browned then add 1/4 cup of water. Be ready for the pan to steam and sizzle quickly so pop the lid on and cook for another 3 minutes. This makes them nice and soft. Stand for 1 to 2 minutes

You can dip them in whatever sauce you like. I love sweet chilli sauce but many people prefer soy or teriyaki sauce.

The good thing about this recipe is you can add or remove the ingredients to suit your tastes. Quite often I will add fresh chilli, lemongrass or even shredded cabbage.

Also, they freeze well. So anytime you want a quick lunch its easy to grab out a steam basket and leave them for 10mins.

What else should I make a video of?

Dressing For Ramadan In The Middle East

July 10, 2015 By curvysam 3 Comments

The Middle East can be conservative at the best of times. The Islamic calendar runs on 12 lunar months and every ninth month Ramadan comes around.

Rama-what? I hear you ask. Don’t worry this tradition was new to me this year too.

Ramadan is enshrined in law; it is not simply a religious option. Travellers are not obliged to fast, but are required to respect the traditions. It’s something that all travelers to the region need to be aware of.

To give you a brief overview

No eating or drinking in daylight hours – not even water
No smoking or sexual activity
In the evenings and pre sunset families gather together to eat
Emphasis is always on reflection, prayer and charity
Modest clothing to be worn, knees and shoulders covered

Now whilst I don’t understand nor agree with many aspects of how things are done with religious beliefs I respect that it’s their culture. Experiencing this tradition briefly was a positive experience & I learnt a lot.

Travel is all about experiencing and learning new things!

My parents have been living and working in Doha, Qatar for the last 10 months and I’ve been lucky enough to visit them there.

I can certainly pick my timing to visit, not only was it Summer (which can sit at around 50degrees) I landed straight into the Ramadan Season. I’m not good when it’s hot. And the idea of having to cover up and not being able to drink water in public so much was super daunting. Especially because I’m on of those people who carries a bottle of water everywhere.

During Ramadan fashion sensitivities are heightened but in the midst of all the tradition, there’s fabulous fashion. Yes theres the plainer outfits but theres also lots of lavish cover-ups, embellished abayas and pops of colour across maxi skirts.

I hardly took any photos whilst on my trip. It was seriously hot. My go to super cool and comfy outfit was this Alice & You utility shirt maxi dress from ASOS. I buttoned it all the way down and ended up wearing an singlet top and leggings underneath as the buttons came undone every now and again. Size wise I got the 20 so my bust would fit but the sizing was generous so the 18 would have been fine. And ladies this dress goes up to a size 28.

For most of the trip I was busy hanging out with my Mum in the aircon and also had the opportunity to visit an animal shelter a couple of times in a privately owned complex so I could get away with wearing this. (It was pretty overwhelming and I’m still taking it all in. Planning to post some info about it pretty soon)

Bali jeanie pants, Next UK shirt and thongs of course. Photo taken in the complex where my parents live

Every region is different and some areas like Qatar may be stricter moreso than Dubai.

If you have the time pop past some of the more popular shopping centres, you’ll see that the store are all adorned with Ramadan specific clothing. High end brands such as DKNY, Louis Vitton and Oscar Delarenta stock amazing clothing but you’ll also see that more affordable brands like H&M, Next & Tommy Hilfiger are giving shoppers more Ramadan style options.

Local supermarket clothing options perfect for Ramadan

Random fact for you – one of the shopping centres in Qatar is 5km long!

Here’s a gallery of fashionistas I’ve come across on Instagram with amazing Middle Eastern style.

: https://instagram.com/ascia_akf

: https://instagram.com/beautykhanfidant

: https://instagram.com/soumayadouiri

: https://instagram.com/ygolsharifi

: https://instagram.com/zahralyla

: https://instagram.com/zahralyla

: @withloveleena http://www.withloveleena.com

If you’d like more info about visiting during Ramadan I found this post really helpful.
The Holy Month of Ramadan – an introduction for non-Muslims

Bell Sleeve Skater Dress

June 25, 2015 By curvysam 2 Comments

Whilst I was out an about today I thought I’d share a couple of photos of my new ASOS Curve Floral Skater Dress. Nothing is styled or planned about these photos. At the moment I’m in Northern UK and its ~~summer~~ a balmy 18 degrees during the day. For a Queenslander thats actually pretty chilly.

Comfort and style are important factors for me, especially whilst travelling. I’m not one of those people who plans their outfits with matching accessories on a daily basis. (this is also why I don’t claim to be a fashionista) Dresses with bold prints are handy to wear because they don’t take up much room in a suitcase and don’t require any accessories.

Today I picked flowers from my Great Grandmas garden in Wales and wandered back from lunch at the pub through a field.

I’m wearing a size 18. Made from polyester theres a fair amount of stretch in the material. When I see that things are made from polyester I generally think its going to be cheap but was pleasantly surprised at how soft the material was. Fashioney people use the term ‘hand feel’. Basically that means when you touch the fabric it feels nice and soft.
The wrap front design and plunge heckling is flattering on my G cup chest and there’s a fair amount of stretch in the material.
I love the long bell sleeves. It’s so 60’s! (although they did get in the way doing the dishes and cooking dinner later in the day)

And because I’m a true adventurer. I’m more than happy to take shortcuts through paddocks even though I’m wearing a dress. Such a lady. (sometimes ha!)

Dress ~ ASOS Curve Floral Bell Sleeve Skater Dress $56AUD
Cateye Sunglasses ~ ASOS
Shoes ~ Kmart $11

Meatless Monday ~ Chickpea Tabouli with Walnuts and Cauliflower

June 4, 2015 By curvysam Leave a Comment

This is one of those recipes where you chop and throw everything together. It looks pretty, tastes amazing and is SOOO easy. Perfect served as a side dish to a main meal or enjoy as a snack.

Ingredients

2 x 400g cans chickpeas, rinsed, drained
1/2 (330g) cauliflower, cut into large florets
3 small tomatoes, seeded, finely chopped
100g (1 cup) walnuts, roasted, finely chopped
2 small spring onions, finely chopped
1 small red onion, finely chopped
1 bunch flat-leaf parsley, leaves picked, roughly chopped
1/2 bunch coriander, leaves picked, roughly chopped
2 lemons, juiced
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Pepper for seasoning
Toasted pita breads and lemon cheeks, to serve

METHOD
Process both cans of chickpeas in a food processor until roughly chopped, then transfer to a large bowl. Repeat with remaining chickpeas. Don’t blend them too much, you don’t want them to go mushy. (I used a Tupperware happychopper for mine instead of a food processor)

Twist stems from cauliflower tops, discard stems, and pop into boiling water for two minutes until soft. After they have cooled crumble with your hands into small pieces into the bowl with the chickpeas.

Add remaining ingredients to bowl, season with salt and pepper, add lemon juice then toss to combine.

Stand for 15 minutes to allow the flavours to infuse.

Serve with pita bread and lemon slices.
I accidently bought pita bread pockets instead of the flatbread. They worked a treat!

Aussie Slang With Nadia Aboulhosn

May 31, 2015 By curvysam Leave a Comment

Australian slang is colourful, and often funny. It can also be a complete mystery to most people not born here.

By mystery I mean that many people have NO IDEA what us Aussies say half the time.

I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to travel the world and meet some amazing people along the way. Whilst at NYC Full Figure Fashion Week in 2012 & 2013 I met so many fabulous locals that hadn’t met or spoken to an Aussie before. (que shrimp on the barbie jokes x a gazillion)

All of us Aussie bloggers that attended the event constantly had people stopping us mid sentence whilst chatting to get us to relay a particular saying. This happens a lot whilst travelling but moreso in the United States.

It’s one of the things I love about travelling. Breaking down barriers and connecting with people. Just go with the flow, have a laugh and I certainly learnt many new terms & saying myself. Thanks to The Curvy Fashionista I came home calling my blogger buddies all BOO. Heyyy boo heyyyyy. I love America.

At a photo shoot for Lane Bryant I met mega babe & USA blogger Nadia Aboulhosn. Fast forward a couple of years and I’m on set in Manchester at Nadia’s Spring/Summer15 designer collection shoot for UK Brand boohoo.com (check out the collection here)

So long story short. Unplanned selfie stick interview in the change room + chats about Aussie slang.
Pre warning you that this is my first selfie stick interview. Yet to master the skills of talking and holding a stick.

Oh and check out Nadia’s blog www.nadiaaboulhosn.com

Is there any saying or terms I missed?

Launching ~ Meatless Mondays & Blog Update

January 12, 2015 By curvysam Leave a Comment

This year I decided I’m going to show my readers a little more of who I am & what I value.

Plus size fashion is wonderful. I love sharing my top tips & outfit photos. I don’t claim to be a ‘fashionista’ or have ‘style’. What you see has always been the real me.

I don’t spend hours worrying about how to ‘style’ an outfit. Majority of my outfit photos are taken by friends with an iPhone as I’m heading out.

I wear what I like and what I think suits my body shape. I love that my own body confidence inspires others to try something new and feel good about themselves.
Your comments and emails make my heart swell with happiness. Seriously, thank you all.

But I want you all to be more aware that there is more to life then fashion. We live in such an amazing big wide world, the stuff that counts doesn’t come from appearance or can be purchased.

Mid 2014 I had a bit of a rough patch personally. It’s not something I shared publicly or even spoke to many people about.

My happy little life was turned upside down and I was hurt from people I cared about most. I was absolutely devastated. Crushed without fully understanding what had happened. I saw things getting a little out of control and unfortunately I was the one who came out worse off. {but now looking back I’m the one who’s come out on top}

Being a big believer in karma, I stepped away from the situation. All I knew was that I needed to pick myself up, brush myself off and start again.

Long story short, I ended up volunteering and living at an orphanage in Bali to regain a little faith in humanity. Even though I was there to help the kids, their souls and smiles helped me heal more than words can describe.

Since I had a rough time mid year, I’ve had the best and most successful six months. From time to time it still hurts but now I know how to deal with it.

One day soon, I will share my Bali experience with you. It’s taken me to step away to realise that what happened was meant to be and I’m better off after going through it all.

That’s also what led me to realise that I wanted to start talking about more real life stuff.

For those who know me well, know I love to cook, travel and am a major animal lover.

To start with, in 2015 I won’t be eating meat on a Monday. Oh and apparently I’m not the first to follow this path. Upon further research it’s actually a global movement active in 36 countries. Wow!

I like eating meat and certainly don’t see myself as being a vegetarian. Mainly because I don’t like avocados {seriously}, tomatoes or mushrooms.

I’m a believer that one day a week can make a difference in the world.

Why? Well without getting into detail {detail can be found here}

It’s good for your body
Vegetables are cheaper to buy than meat
Less livestock = less demand = animal lives saved
Helps the planet ~ decreased gas emissions

So from 2015, every Sunday night / Monday I will post a recipe with an image of a Meatless Monday meal that I’ve cooked.

Can’t guarantee the recipe photo will look amazing, I can guarantee that it will taste amazing.

Here’s my first couple of recipes for Meatless Monday.